Think about it, there must be higher love, down in the heart or hidden in the stars above, without it, life is a wasted time, look inside your heart, I'll look inside mine (Steve Winwood) 16/01/08
Someone commented I don't write here much anymore. I guess that's what happen's with these sites after a while. I really think it's partly a byproduct of social networking sites. I do have a myspace and a facebook. They can be addictive, but after a while the novelty of facebook wears off. And I do think that myspace is the superior ableit much less private of the two. That really comes down to how you choose to use it though and myspace has done a lot to step up security on private profiles. I joined myspace not so much as a social networking tool, because even though you gain more network I feel there are so many people trying to connect to you that a lot of it becomes a connection in passing or a connection in vision/values and shared passions rather than anything on a deeper level. I joined to gain some members for my forum which it was interesting to see didn't garner much added interest in my forum, but has steadily allowed people to connect on my myspace. It's been sort of a mutual advertising tool. I am sure you could spend all day writing to people on there if you had all day to do so. One thing that I think facebook to a small extent has over myspace is that you don't have all these people posing as celebrities. For the most part, people are who they say they are. When you add the people who's work is inspiring to you on myspace, its great to add musicians, but other types of creative types such as actors are much harder to add. In that respect its much easier to add their .coms if they have one, because you don't have to use discernment and wade through hundreds of sites just to find the real one.
Speaking of that one of my favourite actors has been Jorja Fox from CSI and I just got to watch the last CSI ep that she starred in, so I wanted to say, thanks for bringing Sara to life, it made for some very compelling, honest and emotional scenes on a wonderful show. It was very enjoyable to watch and I look forward to your new projects.
This week I started doing some new website work, which I haven't done for a very long time, most of my work is done for print publications. It's interesting to see how much coding has changed from the good old days.
I spent a few hours today watching the 2020 summit broadcast which was interesting. Being into prophecy it's sometimes hard to imagine the earth being anything like what it is now by 2012 let alone 2020. At work we had a similar process called 'Future Search' where we brainstormed 2015 and where our establishment is headed. To live in the moment, letting go of my expectations and thoughts for that time is something I find myself having to do. It's important to be in the now. I don't fully believe that everything happening at the moment is linked to golbal warming and carbon footprints, but I do like to do my bit to protect earth and I am grateful to be on earth at this time. I guess when I look at 2020 debate, I sit somewhere between the 'earth will be as new', 'earth will move completely to another dimension' and the NDEers who say that we will go back to basics and form new tribes saying goodbye to the age of technology. Afterall the way we are headed with our technologies does make me think of Atlantis. As it would seem they had all that Lemuria had, but focus on technology and progress became bigger than the combined focus for service to the one and holding a high vibration. Somewhere along the way we have forgotten our connectedness, but I think we will regain that. As one cycle ends, another begins.
Shout out to all those people who pushed me to look into raw foods. I am looking into it right now. I ate some raw foods pasta the other day which was very nice and I hope to gain more info so that I have the tools to give it a try for a couple of weeks without depleting myself of necessary nutrients. I have always maintained that I thought this was entirely possible. Especially with non localised foods that come from the Amazon and other places close by, but also just by being very aware of what you are getting out of the locally grown foods and balancing them for your own nutrition. I think this may be the approach for me to try and get rid of my psoriasis which I have held onto for a very long time, after I was less sucessful in trying to get straight information about the importatation of Calaguala (Polypodium leucotomos) and Samambaia (Polypodium decumanum) which I was sure would also assist.
And now I must bid everyone adieu for another night, as I have spent more than enough time online :)

And, this, is my mind, it goes over and over, the same old lines, and, this, is my brain, it's torturous analytical thoughts, make me go insane, and I use mouthwash, sometimes I floss, I got a family, and I drink cups of tea (Kate Nash) 16/01/08
So it’s the New Year and so far the New Year has brought lots of wacky weather and what I could call some hope for the writer's with the Golden Globes being cancelled. I really hope that the writer's get what they are asking for because I really value what they do and everyone deserves to be recognised in a myriad of ways for what they do and what their talents are.
My new year’s res is to 'just be'. Some of you will know straight away what I am talking about. My guides have said that 'just be' is about giving up all that struggle and striving to do things and 'just being'. To me and with my understanding, its also about staying in the moment more, because not only is it in the moment that we create, but its when we focus this moment on what we recognise as the past and use those things to create the future we often create things we don't want, doubt and worry and fear and all kinds of things that hinder just being, hinder happiness, get us stuck in circular thinking and allow us to think too much instead of being in the moment.
It's so important to be in the moment and yet it can be a challenge if you are someone who has an overly active thinking mind or who doesn't properly ground into your physical being. 'Just be' is about not worrying, about going with the flow of all that is, about letting go and about accepting yourself. So that is my resolution and its pretty encompassing of lots of things that I do and don't do, wants, desires, coming into my own power and accepting myself as who I am, its about happiness and joy and peace and all those things I would wish for people who would wish that of themselves.
I want to thank everyone for their support of me, all the aspects of me in the last year, because there are lots of different sides to me that like to be expressed and whatever side it is that is being brought out or nurtured its a good thing, even those people who pushed me in ways that I didn't like at work, I still find that it allows for a greater understanding of me as a whole and my connection to others. Thank you also to the people who have paid me great compliment, some of it took me by surprise and I hope that you have that same appreciation of who you are in your own lives so that you can see how wonderful you are.
My journey isn't just about being healing or being psychic or being a star child or indigo, or being my work and job, being a good friend or being that adversity to explore opposing views. In the last year I have really been shown that it is about being Em. It's just about being myself and that when I can accept that fully I will know who I am; someone special and worthy of self love and someone who can be appreciated for being herself and being connected and that’s a beautiful thing. No matter where you go and what you do, you are everywhere you are, so its important to nurture you and allow yourself to be reflective of what you have achieved and how its okay to be who you are and have dreams and aspirations that are yourself and becoming more of yourself. So although it’s a long time since I have written on here, Happy New Year, may you all 'be' if that is your wish and may you have all the happiness you desire for your new year.
Many Blessings,
Em

For Boston, for Boston, thy glory is our own, for Boston, for Boston, 'tis here that truth is known (Dropkick Murphys) 01/11/07
Every now and then you hear that little bit of news that makes a nice smile grace your face :)
Well this is one of them. A few weeks back ED signed a deal with Fox television which is kinda a scary thought cause we all know about their american friday night time slot, its not something you ever want. They cancelled every show ever worth watching too soon and let the X-files go on one season too long. They also have a penchant for sending out cease and desist letters to creative fans. Yes, copyright is important and it's your friend, but they are fans, they are promoting and loving your shows!!! This contract did however mean that ED was looking to do television again and that Fox had to strike her a mean deal. This was curious news but then the really sweet news came out today. Joss Whedon is going to be doing a new show called Dollhouse and that show will also feature none other than ED as the leading lady. As the icing on the cake we get Minear back too, woooo! If Joss pulls it off like he has his other show and the comics, (which I am going mad waiting for because we are part way into the Faith Arc) then its got potential to be good. I cannot wait. Buffy, Angel and Firefly fans may be the biggest critics ever but she is right, they are also the most loyal. Joss is name dropping a few classics, but plot wise it does sound a little Dark Angel to me but with Joss at the helm I am sure this pilot/series will be steered to success and probably get dissected into pieces by TWOP. See here for details: Eliza Lures Joss Whedon Back to TV.
And another sweet article from Kristin a.k.a Wrongda :P Best News Ever! Joss Whedon Spills Exclusive Deets on His New Series
Well that's all for me today, I'm off to mourn Wonderfalls, Dead Like Me (which oddly enough wasn't even on fox) and wait patiently for my Joan of Arcadia Season 2 to show up.

I, I can do anything, If you want me here, and I can fix anything, If you let me near, where are those secrets now, that you're too scared to tell, I whisper them all aloud, so you can hear yourself (Angels and Airwaves) 23/07/07
Congratulations to my sister Genny she has just got a job with Emirates Airline!!!!
This is very good news I hear they are wonderful, see Gen you manifested exactly what you wanted, congratulations, you deserve to work there I think it will be fantastic and very exciting to be touching down in so many countries.


Laudamus, Adoramus Te, Domine, Laudamus, Benedicimus Domine Deus, Cum Sancto Spiritu in gloria Dei Patris (Stina Nordenstam) 31/05/07
So Prophecies.us got hacked the other week which was really sad because it was so great and Glen and the mods have done their best to put up a new site. Thankfully everyone from the board bonded together. It was a reminder though of how much we appreciate all that we have received from having that space to meet in and help each other and what would happen we no longer had these technologies connecting us. If the power was ever to go out for good, we surely will miss each others support and rally around in spirit. So in honor of the new board and those who have kindly welcomed us at Oroborus the sister site I thought I would post these two chanelings from my good friend Holly, I hope she doesn't mind the first one is very beautiful and the second reminds me of some discussions in psychic class.

Earth grid;
Earth grid is about harmony, and frequency, and vibration, and sound. It ebbs and flows, with rhythm. It breathes and exhales. Takes in love, and spits out fear. When there is love, it flows perfectly. When there is peace, it is divine. Nature is connected to sound, and energy, and rhythm, and is perfection when in synchronization. Light travels through the grid, to beautify and glow. It all works as a whole, in syncopation and rhythm, to enlighten mankind. Too many are oblivious to the balance of harmony and designated flow. Light is love. Love is light. All is God. All is, that is. All is perfection, and perfect motion and rhythm. All has purpose. All is divine. All is God.

Channeling St Germain;
The universe is about to change the cosmic configuration is altering modifying to operate at an accelerated speed and velocity matter is less dense molecules speed up work together faster and therefore are lighter earth is dying it is old it is wanting to expand to cleanse and thus eruptions will occur planetary and emotional a balance is needed a vibrational attunement and it will be it is coming it is near a crossover into an alternative dimension will transpire portals open light guides, travel takes place, healing occurs, heavenly matters populate that dimension and love is omnipresent the experience is over on earth the next level of healing to begin shortly.

I asked her would she'd marry me, she said it could never be, for she had got another, and he was off at sea. She said that she would wait for him and faithful she would remain. Waiting for her sailor, By the lakes of Pontchartrain. (Be Good Tanyas) 20/04/07
So I had a little request from little genny and she told me it was time to update my page. So now I will speak about Canberra National Folk Festival 2007.
This year I went with Dale, Joel and Nemesha. This is the first year I have been able to get friends to go because they are very poor, yes thats right all my friends have the kind of adundance that means you are scraping through with your basic needs met but things like Folk Music festivals are a luxury and therefore can rarely be attended. That's okay though cause its usually a family affair mostly, unless some chicks are SWF Mirella and then they get to come too. This year my family couldn't come, but it was very exciting to be going because the other year no one could so I didn't go at all.
My friends had two day passes and I had a season pass, although we only went for the weekend, because I've never been to the whole thing due to a slight case of having work on.
The road trip was very, very fast compared to the some nine and a half hours I have sometimes experienced. It took us about 8 hours or under that and we did stop for lunch on the way. There was a terrible beverage that I consumed at lunch which was diet ginger beer and I am assuming thats what made me feel sick. However a little bad feeling in the stomach didn't stop me eating to my hearts content later on at the festival. Meesh and I drove, and the boys got up to their usual shenanigans. We listened to Merri-may-gill and various other folk artist on the way.
When we got to Canberra we went to the 'family unit' and discovered much to Joel's disgust that it was not as upmarket as it looks from the brochures or outside. The prices were bumped up because of car racing season and so much complaining ensued beacuse of the uncleanliness and various other things wrong with the room.
The festival was ace, there were plenty of good acts on to see, so many that I couldn't keep up with them all and didn't have time to figure out who to see. I found Merri-may-gill under the new guise of Nester Lou as a duo with Slim Nackers. I also found Mal Webb on the last day doing a suprise concert with guests because someone else was ill and couldn't go on at the merri muse.
The food was yummy and I ate lots and lots and lots of it. All my favourite stalls were there so I bought my regular art and some socks and we all bought ourselves hats. Rell said that Joel's hat looked girlie, he wanted me to get the same hat as him, and he said that my hat made me look like Tripitaka from Monkey Magic... I don't think that's a compliment, I am not sure what it is.
Genny and Rellie and Amy couldn't go, so I spent a good half hour painting on the wall at the festival and made sure I put their names on there. It says see you next year rellie and amy which I admit is for Amy S. but Amy G you can keep imagining its about you if you like too cause you did go with us one year and you do play violin so it can be for you too.
I bought two cds, one of Nester Lou and one by the Ngewell Kora Group. They were ace and I had a dance during their set because it was one big dance party. There were also lots of Morris men which is something I really enjoy seeing.
Joel bought a cd from a drumming group, Meesh's baby is gonna be a little drummer boy when its born I reckon because it was kicking the whole way through their drumming concert.
Overall I had a good time even though I had no sleep and can't wait for next years festival :)

As I lay me down to sleep, this I pray, that you will hold me dear, though I'm far away, I'll whisper your name into the sky and I will wake up happy (Sophie B Hawkins) 07/03/07
Happy Birthday Amy :)

We're just dancing, we're just hugging, singing, screaming, kissing, tugging, on the sleeve of how it used to be, how's it gonna be? (Kimya Dawson) 23/02/07
So I figured there has to be at least one post a month even though this journal has no blogging facilities and no set demographic :P
I went to my sisters new house and its mad good but it needs some cleansing of the 'I just smoked tobaccy inside for ten years' kind. I got lost in Melb as usual and it was mega hot. The long weekend is coming up and I am having a Buffyfest hehe It will be in part a celebration relating to the imminent release of the Buffy Season 8 comic, however no one else who is coming could care less about that so really it's just a whole lot of excuses to party and hang out rolled into one. Lots of busy stuff going on at work and pretty busy otherwise, going to psychic classes once a month too which will be pretty cool.

I wish I had a mango tree, in my backyard, with you standing next to me, take the picture, from her lips I heard her say, can I have you, caught up on what to say, I said you do , I said you do (angus and julia stone) 22/01/07
Well I go back to work on Wednesday. I can hardly believe another year is gone, it seems like it was only yesterday that it was 2005. I'm keeping my eye and mind on some predictions of my friend Holly. I have just come back from two trips, one to QLD and one to Melbourne. I said that Melbourne held nothing for me. I've never had any connection of a good kind to it even though its in my astrological profile as somewhere I would be very happy. It's never somewhere I have felt at ease or enjoyed in any large manner. But I've not had any friends there, so the thrall was never there. I had a good time there in the last few days. My sister and her partner are going there to live, my other previously estranged friend lives there and I have been staying with her for the last couple of days which has been wonderful and reminds me of when I had flat mates. My other friend Goodbye girl has just moved there and another ex-flat mate of mine; Amy has been there for a while. So I am recalling Holly’s words as I reiterated there was nothing there in Melbourne for me and she told me over again that she saw something there for me even if neither of us knew what that something was at the time. So I am beginning to think that things might be happening that we discussed at a time that seems so long ago.
I'm listening to my, oh so hard to find +44 CD. Turns out that the day after I bought it we found it for 10 bucks cheaper in a small video store, and I rolled my eyes at all the time spent looking and the bargain turned expensive sitting back at the house.
Apart from loving the QLD weather and sporting bruises from my attempt to surf in Byron, I caught some movies, art and good restaurants at Kim's in Melb and caught up Amy whom I had not seen in months. 6 and a half months felt like a lifetime and hanging out felt like no time had past at all. I hadn't seen Kim until recently either. She and I watched an old video of our high school years it was amusing and embarrassing to watch. I feel like being in perpetual motion, although true to form I am back at my house doing the regular things I always do. I've got that urge though to be: do, do, doing. I'm getting increasingly bored of sitting around on computers or lounging as the hours pass me by illuminated by the light of the TV. It's boring and I'm itching to do new things. Hopefully this year holds much excitement and good music, friendship, creativity and Reiki, Reiki, Reiki :)
I pray peace, love, joy and abundance for all sentient beings. May the light shine forth!

Mixing Pop and Politics he asks me what the use is, I offer him embarrassment and my usual excuses, while looking down the corridor, out to where the van is waiting, I'm looking for the Great Leap Forwards(Billy Bragg) 12/11/06
Our friendship was CliffsNotes,
The readings short and sweet,
Trying to piece together,
The pieces of you and me,
Without all the information at hand,
Intricate like poetry and prose,
Annotated and interpreted,
Actions spoke for themselves,
They played out sparingly because,
This was less than the sum of its parts,
And many parts had yet to play out,
The works unwritten and unseen,
Not quite thought out.

I have a universe inside me, where I can go and spirit guides me, there I can ask oh any question, I get the answers if I listen (Sinead O'Conner) 23/10/06
Another of mine;

Blue rimmed by green,
A wry smile as thoughts moved by,
Flitting through my minds eye,
They framed your face,
With hints of knowledge and truth,
You said it's not literary,
There are other ways to grow,
A book can't hold all the answers to this world,
A pause, a frown, a thought, a form,
Another belief torn to the ground,
The glass, a reflection, like me of you,
Refracting the light,
The subtle change to your eyes,
The essence of what we thought to be true,
I liked them; they made you look smarter,
Made us think harder, about what it was we knew,
You said wait a minute, slow down,
All this thinking stresses you out,
You know it's the doing that counts,
I smiled unabashedly, can't we both be right?
Although I'm not much for the doing,
We're beings of duality, it all balances out,
You said you think too much,
You looked as if you were speaking of yourself,
But the refractions could never hide,
Wisdom spoken softly,
The mirth in your eyes,
The peace we felt,
Blue rimmed green, they looked pretty in the light,
It's times like this that made everything alright.


If you every fear some day we might lose this, come back here to this moment that will last, and time can go so fast, when everything's exactly where it's at, its very best (K's Choice) 22/10/06
The year is going realy quick it's hard to think so much time has passed. Christmas is on it's way. January feels like just yesterday.
I've had a good weekend. I have been trying to learn some new guitar tabs and I bid on some new crystal skulls with Shelley during the week and met up with some old mates, I finally bought some new shoes cause my other ones were getting wrecked, I've been watching Season two of Dead Like Me which is the best ever and I went to a dinner party last night at an old friends house which was great, thanks Kim :) Little Genny, I just fed your dog, when I got there she had knocked over dads' lemon tree and broke the pot, I saw your wax museum pics on your blog, they were awesome.
Well with that I better head off to feed said so I don't get caught in the supermarket and miss Idol. Here's another poem I wrote during the week.

Quintessential, unabridged emotion, veiled by long spanning silences,
Awkwardly expressed through words mundane that shift with time,
We open our souls and speak our truths, we open our hearts,
To speak our minds, acts of kindness wholly meant to heal ourselves,
Allowing the children inside to wander the streets once more,
Skipping with joy unabated and speaking with knowing so sure,
Those eyes shining with wonder, love and amazement,
Forces far stronger than the fear which chokes our well thought out replies,
Lulls in conversation broken by smiles shy between you and me,
It’s when we have the vantage point to see, you can just be you and I’ll just be me.

Come in rhythm 'cause it never was the cars and guitars that came between us, still a thought says what if I, keep on drivin', keep on drivin' (Tori Amos) 23/07/06
This one is one of my own, another poem.
Sometimes when I think of long ago,
I wonder how it would have been,
I wonder if we had met before,
Young and fancy free,
Dancing without a care in the world,
I dont know if that was ever you or I,
But maybe it would have been nice,

I think of meeting you,
That smile that you shot my way,
Like it's been eons,
And we're gonna be good friends,
But maybe it's the past,
And like horses run free,
I need to work out what's tethering me,
And maybe it's the future,
But I try not to think about that,
Like the man waiting for his spaceships,
While his whole life sped past,
And maybe it's the moment,
But I miss it every time,
because this thinking makes me blind,

Sometimes I think about long ago,
and I wonder how it might have been,
I wonder if we have met before,
Fancy free in the moment,
And I don't know,
If that will ever be you or I,
But I'd like to try.

I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything (Kimya Dawson) 10/07/06
I wanna post this song because it rocks and its really, really something that makes me smile and helps me look at things from another perspective when I get too caught up in drama :) I also think that the last line of the chorus makes for a very positive affirmation that you can use for transformation of yourself. It is I am sure intended to be about body image but never the less I find that it's a song that can be taken on many levels and its great.

When I go for a drive I like to pull off to the side
Of the road, turn out the lights, get out and look up at the sky
And I do this to remind me that I'm really, really tiny
In the grand scheme of things and sometimes this terrifies me

But it's only really scary cause it makes me feel serene
In a way I never thought I'd be because I've never been
So grounded, and so humbled, and so one with everything
I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything

Rock and roll is fun but if you ever hear someone
Say you are huge, look at the moon, look at the stars, look at the sun
Look at the ocean and the desert and the mountains and the sky
Say I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye
I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye

When I saw Geneviève I really liked it when she said
What she said about the giant and the lemmings on the cliff
She said 'I like giants
Especially girl giants
Cause all girls feel too big sometimes
Regardless of their size'

When I go for a drive I like to pull off to the side
Of the road and run and jump into the ocean in my clothes
And I'm smaller than a poppyseed inside a great big bowl
And the ocean is a giant that can swallow me whole

So I swim for all salvation and I swim to save my soul
But my soul is just a whisper trapped inside a tornado
So I flip to my back and I float and I sing
I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything
I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything

So I talked to Geneviève and almost cried when she said
That the giant on the cliff wished that she was dead
And the lemmings on the cliff wished that they were dead
So the giant told the lemmings why they ought to live instead

When she thought up all those reasons that they ought to live instead
It made her reconsider all the sad thoughts in her head
So thank you Geneviève, cause you take what is in your head
And you make things that are so beautiful and share them with your friends

We all become important when we realize our goal
Should be to figure out our role within the context of the whole
And yeah, rock and roll is fun, but if you ever hear someone
Say you are huge, look at the moon, look at the stars, look at the sun
Look at the ocean and the desert and the mountains and the sky

Say I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye
I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye
I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye
And I don't wanna make her cry
Cause I like giants

Reflect on your life, time isn't real, how much time, can you kill? (Tricky) 27/06/06
I'm so tardy with my writing on here. I feel like I haven't written in forever. My sister is in Phucket with her friend; Gen and Annette I hope you are having the time of your life :)
I love reading about their funny travels.
A psychic told me that I would grow tired of having no flatmates. She was right. She never told me that I would do anything about it, only hoped that I might, knowing full well that the chances of that were slim. She was right about that too :P

And down to the edge of the water where we'll spill our guts and we'll name our fears, I'll give you this picture keep it and don't be scared. And color the coast with your smile, its the most genuine thing that i've ever seen. (Dashboard Confessional) 15/06/06
It was my birthday on the weekend. I had a great time. It was ten billion times better than the year before where I wasn't feeling very well.
Thanks to everyone who sent me birthday wishes. Thanks to Paul and Joel and Meesh for the birthday cakes they were awesome. Thanks to everyone for all the awesome presents. Thanks to all who came to my party and thanks to my friends who came to stay, I had a really, really good time.

In this quiet little place, I can't imagine what it's like to be back home, where they care about what time it is and spend their days answering the phone (K's Choice) 12/05/06

Nothing much is going on at the moment. Things are really busy at work and I am still looking for a car. I've been chilling, watching BB, doing some drawing and just finished watching all the seasons of Drawn Together. I've also been reading all kinds of metaphysical things as well. I signed up to some tribes on tribes.net mainly because someone started an alternate Prophecies one in case prophecies.us went down, but just to have a look and see if there is any interesting information on there. It took me ages to work out how to navigate the site. It's not very intuitive, but never the less I did find some interesting information on Indigos and some more stuff about Twin Flames and why they would meet and be drawn apart if indeed it was the incarnation in which they would spiritually work as a team.
The information you find about this on the net is sketchy at best but its more common to find some interesting and helpful information about Indigo and Crystal people. BTW the pictures above to the right are two pictures of my cat Keishin taken by my friend Joel.

I see your resemblance in my face, and on our birthday I'll set an extra wish for you, for you (Dashboard Confessional) 05/05/06
Dear Rellie I have been trying to ring you but no answer, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you are having an ace birthday in sunny QLD!

They say it's your birthday, we're gonna have a good time , I'm glad it's your birthday, happy birthday to you.(The Beatles) 04/05/06
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILY !!!!
I hope you have been having an awesome birthday :)

Generating love on the weekend, even though I know we are good friends, close your eyes and boy we can pretend, keep it quiet while kissing the deep end (The Grates) 29/04/06
I had a really good time on Friday night at The Grates gig. I Heart Hiroshima really rocked. I had a dorky dance and a mosh to The Grates. There wasn't a huge mosh but I managed to locate the dancers and moshers and stood next to them. I apologise profusely to anyone who's toes I inadvertently stepped on or anyone I accidentally elbowed, it was just too long since I had a mosh and I grow tired of gigs where no one dances. I just think it’s nice if people can express themselves and have a rock out...although it’s always a plus not to be crushed or kicked in the head by crowd surfers which has happened to me before. I really enjoy the Grates energy, they went off. Panda Band has a few songs I really liked and chilled out to in my sleepy state.
Heather came too as she is my gig buddy but unfortunately there were no cool posters for her to steal and we were both battling to stay awake. I got to see Amy which was ace as we missed out on going to the Iron On gig earlier in the week due to illness, of which there has been a lot going around, especially at my work.
I resisted the urge to buy more merch as I have enough band t-shirts and I need to focus on getting a car and a new phone that doesn’t fall apart every two seconds.
On the way back to Bendi it rained and Heather and I listened to all our favourite bands.
I just finished listening to an Iron On CD a couple of times. They reminded me of Sixty Stories a really cool emo/punkish band from Winnipeg, I googled them after finding out that their website was down only to find out that they are no more. I have both their albums.
The rest of this weekend is proving to be very uneventful.
Happy Birthday Joel for the other day, I hope you guys are enjoying your honeymoon :)

Off the pillow and into the air, I'm ready cause it's my day, situation: it's all possible, everything is going my way (Le tigre) 13/04/06
I missed morning tea this morning, but I had lunch with the girls from work at the Wholesome Bean. Upon getting there I was a bit shocked. I admitted to them that someone told me it was a vegan cafe, so finding out it wasn't even vego was a big revelation. I admitted that I had been planning to take any vegans or vegos who come to visit me there for a special vegan meal as my dad would call it, but I sure would have looked like an idiot if I had hehe. The meal was really nice never the less. Back at work I also found some pizza shapes left over from morning tea which carol said she would throw out if I didn't take, so I proceeded to hoe them down. I was up till two last night doing work so I am very tired.
Mirella and Devin and coming down from Queensland tomorrow so I cannot wait to see them.
Happy Birthday to Dale for yesterday :)
The wedding was a great success. For those of you who got to see me in a dress with my hair done up and a makeover and those who got to see photos, consider yourself one of the privilaged few. If anyone wants to see photos of the wedding in general that I was a Bridesmaid for then go here to Joel's page and check in the images section for the wedding page.

I cannot take any more, I'm so glad that I'll never fit in, that will never be me, outcasts and girls with ambition, that's what I wanna see (Pink) 05/04/06

I spent the weekend in Melbourne, I don't understand why it says in my western astrological profile that I should love it there, its pretty smoggy and annoying if you ask me, although I always enjoy the beach and I did have a long run on the beach which I am sure did wonders for my fitness levels :) I told Shelley that I would post a pic here of the mysterious sunnies that appeared in her car. They don't belong to anyone we know and we don't know how they got in her car because I am the only one who has been in there, so they now belong to me. Enjoy :)

One day, one night, one moment, with a dream to believe in, one step, one fall, one falter, and a new earth across a wide ocean, this way became my journey, this day ends together, far and away (Enya) 27/03/06

I went to a birthday party on the weekend, it was fun. After it I was really sleepy but I went to Typhoon restaraunt for tea and then on Sunday I went to Piyawat restaraunt which was nice also. I was going to read all my books... well at least two of them on the weekend but ended up doing drawing for most of the time when I wasn't at the party, involved with food or sleeping. To anyone who wants to come to Canberra Folk Festival with me next year, start saving your two dollars a day now!!! I want heaps of people to come! This drawing is for all twin flame beings incarnated to earth 3D at this time or otherwise, may your light shine bright!

Wading through overflowing reason, can't contain the feeling, this is my way home, in time you will find, you're heavensent (Killing Heidi) 21/03/06
Well today is Tuesday, sleepy Tuesday cause I had a bad case of insomnia last night, it was very sleepy yesterday until it was time to sleep and sleep would not come no matter what I did.
Last Thursday Killing Heidi played a free gig here in Bendi. They were so good; all of them and Ella is a legend. Ella I liked your happy dancing, now I am away from all the 12 and 14 year olds and all the kids from my work that were standing next to me at the gig I will have a dorky dance in honour of you. Who knows if I make it to the Grates album launch I might have a dorky dance there too. :)
Saturday was the hens night and it went off well. I hope that I get the pics so I can post one on here of me and said bride to be and my fellow hen's night organiser. Not long till the wedding!!!
Sunday I was in Melb to see the Lion King. Buyisile Zama (Rafiki) was the standout performer for me. She was awesome! She hopes to record in the near future, I hope she does so I can buy her album. The costumes and puppets were great. The other performers were also good, it was a fun performance.

Oh, you've got green eyes, oh, you've got blue eyes, oh, you've got gray eyes. And I've never seen anyone quite like you before, No, I've never met anyone quite like you before (New Order) 07/03/06
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY!!!!!

If you're wondering why, look into my eyes, if you can understand, take me by the hand (My Bloody Valentine) 06/03/06
Confusing gazes and abrupt goodbyes,
Sometimes I wonder what's going on behind those eyes,
Apprehensive, pensive, vocabulary jumbled but extensive,
You say sometimes not speaking the truth's as good as a lie,
Between you and me, the truth can be a little hard to find,
Fleeting, flighty, all thrown by the wayside, replaced by a smile,
Friendships lost and others found,
I question if you'll stick around.


Where do you get off, waiting for the future, as if alreadys not enough and where do you stop, if you cant stop here then the truth is too much (Diana Anaid) 28/02/06
A power failure ate the message I was originally typing here so I will start again. Friday night Heather and I went to see Diana Anaid. It was so good. Although it started too late for my liking, I would have liked it if it started much earlier but then that's showing my age now isn't it! Diana Anaid rocked big time, she is so tiny too, much tinier than me. A tiny but powerful vocalist! Her guitar playing was so good I enjoyed it immensely. There isn't one song of hers that I do not like. I hope that she had a good time at the gig and has a good time touring around.

At least when it rains I can sit still, and I sit still and you sit still (Iron On) 18/02/06
Wednesday was; another tops fun night had at another tops gig.
I still felt kinda sick, I think I will swear off eating the greasy pizza round the corner from the gig from now on and drinking the bad water at work cause it isn’t good. There were two support bands at the T and S gig, I enjoyed them immensely. Iron On was rad, they are from Brissie, they made me wish that I had the last Magic Dirt gig and that I hadn't missed the Dirt when they played in Bendi last time. I love good guitar bands. They also make me think of early Discount, Alison Mosshart and other stuff from eons ago. Can't get much better than that. I can't find their album anywhere.
T and S were awesome as always, there was a bad 5 person mosh going on, I think they were really trying to take the stars from the sky if you know what I mean, their drunken drug stupor wasn't such a favourite party trick with the other punters.
I enjoyed hanging out with Heather (who is a very good navigator, I couldn't read the map even if my life depended on it), Goodbye girl and catching up with Amz. Goodbye girl took pics at the gig, I can't believe I work in IT and I do not own a camera. Heather and I complained in the car as we listened to pristine smut that we will never get the see the Murmurs, Gush or Red Car because they broke up and we are in the wrong country. As for the gig, pity these things are not on Saturdays, I was no good at work although somehow I managed to achieve a bit anyways despite my sleep deprived stupor.
Saturdays is; full of crap tv at night and its too dark to read in my house, it annoys me and makes me antsy to do something. Everything is really busy, well apart from right now which is just plain boring. I am annoyed as i missed Surface for the second week in a row.
There is much planning involved in hens nights I know this now. And not long left till J and N's wedding but I still don't have shoes for it.
I was so tired by the end of last week I thougth that I was really close to astral projecting consciously, but not enough that I was actually sucessful.
Rella and Devin when are you coming to Bendi? Probably when the wedding is on eh? At the T and S gig I made a pact to return to QLD for my next holiday which is at the end of the year, this will be much to my dad's dismay as he really, really wants me to go to NZ but i figure there is plenty of time to explore places that haven't been affected by Earth Changes yet, all in good time, so that one can wait :)

And you've never met anyone who's as everything as I am sometimes, you see everything, you see every part, you see all my light, and you love my dark, you dig everything, of which I'm ashamed, there's not anything, to which you can't relate (Alanis) 12/02/06
I just got back into Bendigo. I have been away for the weekend. It took me forever to get back because I took a wrong road, missing the turn off and then had to backtrack. I went to visit Goodbye Girl and on the way up there I also got to Geelong and then got lost for over an hour and a half, she had to come and get me.
I had a fantastic time other than the travel aspect. I went to my first Pagan celebration. It was for the Chinese New Year. I loved it, even though I don't feel drawn to so much ritual the ceremonial and ritual aspects were powerful to be a part of and I was very glad to be involved in such a ceremony. We met lots of new people as well and they were very nice. So nice, thank you all for the wine, the food, the party and the welcoming you afforded us as you performed your sacred rights.
I had heaps of fun at Goodbye Girl’s also. I'm glad I did something with the weekend other than sitting around my house and I enjoyed going to the windy sandy beach too hehe :P I had a very good time.
All the way back to Bendigo after getting lost, I listened to one of my fantastic Alanis CDs. I love them so much they are great to lift your spirits. Well off to bed for me,
Blessed be people :)

Use your bed like a trampoline! Higher! Higher! (The Grates) 03/02/06
Well the concert was interesting, I'm gonna write my review here. The first band was Baseball and they were a meld between death metal and well I'm not sure what else but there was a violin player as the lead singer who was screaming death metal. To the two girls from Baseball, we heart you, we thought your drum and bass guitar playing was fabulous. The Grates as the former girls mentioned were great! They are from Brisbane. Lead singer (Patience), I enjoyed your happy dancing you made me think of Alison Mosshart and Karen O, who's first CD we were listening to in the car. You were so happy and energetic, it made me smile.
Drummers of all bands, you rocked!
During the walk from the car park into the venue I started feeling really sick. I wanted to bounce around down the front to The Grates but unfortunately I felt too sick, this wasn't good and I felt bad for Claire and Heather as I was also over tired and appeared to be out of it, even though we took guarana it did nothing to energise me or quell my sickness. So by the time Sleater came on I was feeling really bad. I don't think I have felt that sick since my birthday and during the time I was around someone I had past life troubles with. I started out near a pole and Claire wanted to go to the front but that's where I left her cause I wanted to be near the back where there was more air. I ended up moving near the toilets were I had a far superior view. Near the pole there were lots of guys who looked 6 foot tall. A girl in front kept bumping into me and it really wasn't helping and I couldn't see anything. Near the toilets and bar an annoying couple were getting on my nerves. Whilst Claire was annoyed by all the tall boys proclaiming loudly that they should move to the back, I was annoyed by the couple who were all over each other and kept talking and whispering during the main gig. I couldn't understand why they would pay 43 dollar and thought to myself they should have stayed home and put on the CD instead. I think I was just irritable because I was sick and dreamed of nothing more than throwing my guts up or falling asleep in the bathroom cause it seemed more appealing than leaning against the hallway wall and might have made me feel marginally better.
I don't know why so many guys were there, I know Sleater was actually technically post-riot grrrl but still it's not the kind of stuff I imagined these boys to be into, but a lot did have clingy girlfriends, so that could be why or how they got into it. We tried to get merch but there wasn't any, only guy sized t-shirts with a horse head on them so instead I bought the very last grey Grates t-shirt complete with gaffe tape off the wall. I am proudly wearing it today. They didn't have a cd or EP there but I want it! I think maybe stuff got sold out at other gigs and Sleater probably had stuff at the BDO, that all sold.
The best part of the show was not The Woods songs cause I don't care that much for them, but the earlier stuff, the three songs they played before their last song. They seemed to have forgotten and not rehearsed their earlier stuff which I think they commented they would need band practice to play but it was by far the best. I didn't even catch one glimpse of Janet as I was too short. They did go off though so I hope one day I see them again.

Eugene was a white-haired crazy man, jaw-harp-singing soul, one-man band. Freaky white dreads stickin' out his head and music in his eyeballs. They were winkin' and twinklin' and it was leakin' into his guitar pickin'. I was fallin' into his guitar. (Ember Swift) 31/01/06
Well all the students are back today, this makes it very busy in the can't move anywhere without nearly getting run over by kids trying to get to their classes sense. My Ember Swift stuff just showed up. I must say, very big props go to the Few'll Ignite Sound team. Some of you may remember when i bought a t-shirt from another of my favourite artists and I had misjudged the size and it unfortunately had a hole in it. No such bad luck this time, the t-shirt is a perfect fit, with only holes that are supposed to be there, the cd is awesome (I'm listening to it right now), the dvd I can't wait to watch and I got a free promo brochure that has been signed!
It's been really stormy here, although during some thunder the other day there was a huge rainbow visible from the back porch of my house, it was very beautiful.
Ever since I am back at work I can't get a proper sleep. Also last night I was stupid enough to try and catch some Zzz's really early thus preventing me sleeping later on. I hope I can get well rested soon.
Two more days till the Sleater Kinney concert, I am really excited.
Ahh how time flies its already almost February!


Oh little beam, splitting the fog and the dirt in between, oh simplify, like a problem you try to work out in your mind, I would almost have to ask you, it’s clumsy when said, so give me a spark I could look for instead (Sleater Kinney) 24/01/06
Today was my first day back at work, I moved office and did various things and am now home with a headache which I hope will soon abate.
Last night I had another TK dream. It's the second one I have had. The message is always the same in them. When I am trying hard or concentrating with effort then I am doing it all wrong. It's something that's just done; like you could do it on autopilot, simple as blinking. In this one I was really sly in showing off my new found ability it took people by suprise and and I smirked cause it was actually very simple. In one part of the dream I remember screwing up my face in mock concentration knowing on some level that too much effort would weild no results. This reminds me of a conversation about who had seem themselves in dreams and I can't remember if I have or if in this dream I just knew I screwed up my own face or whether I saw it from the perspective of being outside of myself or watching myself as if it was a movie. If only I found TK that easy in my waking state hehe

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibi, but it’s just the price I pay, destiny is calling me, open up my eager eyes,‘cause I’m Mr Brightside (The Killers) 23/01/ 06
I had fun at the party yesterday, although it was touch and go, it nearly didn't happen because of fires that had come really close, the house had to be evacuated. I prayed like crazy that their house would be alright and thankfully we got let back there due to a change in wind and the house was fine. There were trees down everywhere too because of the storms and a heap of people I have spoken to still have no power and have had no working fridge or any electricity since friday. It's pretty crazy weather for here and I think its going to get even crazier. Today was my last day of holidays :( I am back at work tomorrow. I'm going to sign up for qigong again soon which hopefully will give me a workout and stop my back and legs from driving me crazy because they get a little sore and need a bit of a stretch, I should have been doing qigong at home but I am very bad and don't motivate myself to do it. I will also be doing some new courses this year, a meditation course and at this stage it looks like I will be doing an advanced healing course. I am also in the middle of reading a quantum healing touch therapy book, its basically healing with the chakra points in your hands but with added energy raising techniques that are a lot like Robert Bruces NEW energy system and some forms of yogic breathing.
Supernatural is on telly tonight yay, I can't wait for the new Mediums to come on, hopefully they won't be on a night when I have a class on but knowing my luck they will be, so lucky I still have a vcr to tape that and House!

I like those who crave to engage strip-down, who don't fuss with protective, real conversations, with real eyeballs, no smoke screens, I like sobriety, I like philosophy, I like those who aspire to keep their spirits clean, I like those who aspire to say as they mean, I like those who really want to be seen (Ember Swift) 22/01/06
So I am back from QLD for a while now and it was awesome fun.
Thanks Relly and Devin for having me at your place.
Thanks Rell for being such a good host and taking me to byron and hanging out.
Thank you to devin for being such a trooper and boldly going where few men did go :)
I had an awesome time in qld, I loved it up there. It could have just been the excitement of being there but I think I liked it much, much better than Victoria.
The Ember show was awesome! I didn't stay for the encore so I didn't get merch but I have ordered some on the net. I hope that my t-shirt fits when it comes as I didn't know what size to get and I cannot wait to watch the DVD and listen to the new album which I have been very tardy in buying.
I cannot wait to go up there again to QLD and I can’t wait to go on some more trips because I tend to get caught up in my working and waste the weekends or have them to recover from work, but perhaps if I spent them doing fun things; and I don’t refer to clubbing or drinking here, then I would be more energized for the coming week ahead.

I've also been tardy in writing my journal but I do write it for myself primarily and I enjoy telling people in person or via email my impressions of things so I hadn't really felt like uploading a post.
I have a psychic party I am going to in an hour. I think a lot of people don't get my interests; they see all my metaphysical stuff and think uh oh what a hippy. And they don't get the psychic stuff, they don't believe in that stuff and they have never heard of light workers or anything like that. I guess one thing I can say that I really enjoy about it apart from the self growth aspect is that when you are around perceptive people, you can be, or you force yourself to be more of yourself. There is no need for pretense and you really are pushed to let go of pretenses and just express yourself no matter what is involved in that. You can still hide, but because everyone is so perceptive, although they will allow you that and its perfectly okay for you to be doing that, everyone will know that that is what you are doing. No one will be fooled by your poker face. And I guess that's a really good thing, cause it breeds honesty and acceptance of self and others and it allows you to explore yourself and your connectedness and in being so honest you step away from a separatist viewpoint and you start to look at the ways you are interconnected and how similar you are rather than create labels and judgments to drive you further apart. If it's okay to be you at whatever stage you are at and it’s okay to be them where they are then everything is okay and you can just enjoy the moment. I guess that’s another reason why I am wary of labels, because they are restrictive and they make something that is infinite finite and they create all kinds of judgments that are predefined and have no room for growth or change within them. Some people like that and find comfort in that but I actually think that for me it has the opposite effect and it makes me feel like I am being blanketed as something that I am not. But at the same time it seems to foster fear about living up to these images when all you really have to be is yourself and that can be something that evolves daily. People are so diverse and to stop and take one aspect of a person and define it and separate it from the rest of their being and let it stand for who they are, well for me its really a very shallow and restrictive way of looking at things and in the broader sense its a very rigid way to look at the world and all the things in it. With infinite possibilities and such a rhythmic flow to all that is why choose to perceive things from such a static viewpoint.

Isn't it ironic, don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day, it's a free ride when you already paid (Alanis) 05/01/06
I have been so bad the last week, every since I recovered from the stresses of Christmas I have done nothing. All I have done is played x box and tried to read some of the books that I bought. Basically I have been wallowing around and thinking that in the truest sense of Alanis's meaning of ironic; isn't ironic how I finally have time to spend with people and everyone is at work. Still today I did talk via voice chat to people who were at work and they asked me what the hell I have been doing and i think its kinda woken me up a bit. Okay so people aren't around but there are things I need to do which I could have been doing other than playing x box. I think I better get motivated since these are the only holidays I get until the end of this year.

Look how all the kids have grown, oh, we have changed but we're still the same, after all that we've been through, I know we're cool (Gwen Stefani) 30/12/05
I love 'Cool' by Gwen Stefani and I think it is very ironic and not at all to be taken in a literal sense. Cool represents an act, a pact, a pleading that the other party will keep up the charade so that there can be some hope of staying in contact no matter what the true reality of things is, no matter what lies within the recesses of ones mind and heart.
On a different note, some people say that television always reflects the Collective Consciousness and so I think it is interesting that there are so many more shows on about paranormal, psychics, mediums, alien invasion, time travellers and new species of beings. I think we are in interesting times and we are in for a wild ride!


Said we're Free, to live and love again, to your mum or your sister, brother or friend, this can be solved, just find it in your soul, come get your Free, come get your Free-dom, For all people! (Estelle) 28/12/05
Well I am finally back at home. The Christmas rush is over. Some aspects of Christmas were very unpleasant but lets not dwell on that now. Katie's birthday party was the bomb, we had some mad fun! It's nearly the new year and it's nearly time that I go to QLD too this is very exciting for me. At the moment I am just hanging and chillin with my new books and cards. I have two new Doreen Virtue sets; the Angels and Saints one and the Goddess cards. They are both wonderful and I bought myself one of her new books Goddesses and Angels and a book called Bringers of the Dawn, teachings from the Pleiadians. I also have some new X box games that i have been entertaining myself with.
At the beach I got very sunburnt; mostly on my feet, hopefully when I go to QLD I will not end up any more burnt than that as it would be very bad and painful and I burn very easily.

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned, I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side, I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye (Savage Garden) 22/12/05
It's nearly Christmas and I am finally on holidays. It is the first day of my Christmas break.
I want to thank everyone who has helped me out this year.
Thanks to;
My psychic teacher for facilitating my growth and teaching me all kinds of skills that i will have for life.
Holly for proving that age and distance are have no impact on friendships and support. Thanks for your ever present humour.
Everyone in psychic class who said nice things about me and pushed me to come out of my shell.
Katie for putting up with me sharing her office, I will miss you just as much as you miss me from my new office, luckily I am only moving two offices away, thanks for making work bearable :)
Everyone whom was cheery and had fun with me at work, thanks also for participating in some dorky dancing.
Thanks to Joel and Meesh for bringing the fun and proving that strong friendships stand the test of time, others will thank you for making me wear a dress :P
Amy for being yourself, flatting with me and reading all my annoying text messages, its only cause i miss ya.
Lily for showing what its like to be a morning person... even if i have gone back to my oversleeping ways :P
Goodbye girl for the msn chats, cool icons and pushing me to get out of bendi and go to some gigs.
Rell for inviting me to QLD, I am so excited! :)
And everyone else who has shown me friendship this year, thank you so much and a Merry Christmas to all!

Dumb dog why are you following me (Annie) 15/12/05
Hmmm well I am not a dog person but somehow I always end up minding the dog. I have to look after the dog again this weekend, it belongs to my sister but it lives at my dads. It's a staffy cross and its way bigger than me. It walks me, actually i have to take it for a run because it doesn't like walking and I have to take it down the smelly creek because it loves going down there. The worst thing is that it sometimes goes in the water, because its not a real creek its a waterway that goes right from town to the outskirts.
I just got another lot of my Christmas shopping done, but Christmas is getting busier and busier. What ever happened to Chirsmtas being about relaxing, huh?! What happened to that! My role just got finalised for next year, my new title will be Information Services Administrator and I will be under a new boss and have new responsibilities.

What will I do when you come near to me?, you’ll put me on the spot, you’ve been doing this a long, long time, not that you’re better than me, but that you do it a lot. Now I’m waiting for wednesday, I’m gonna show you good-bye (Lisa Loeb) 13/12/05
Before I was 18 I never went out and partied or drunk and then from about that time onwards my friends and I went out every single weekend clubbing and drinking. About 23 I kinda got over it all. I felt like yeah, been there done that and although I still got dragged out it was kinda like, well this is something my friends like doing still, its not something that excites me and I hate coming home tired, drunk, smelling like an ash tray and with less money than when I went out. I appreciated that it meant I could spend time with my friends but I just got over it. It seems thats what people like to do. There is such a huge drinking culture and although I enjoy having a few at home in the company of good friends I don't get this whole get drunk and stumble out, pick up mentality, it's not me and I don't understand how thats considered some of the best fun and number one social activity to be participating in.
The other thing I have been pondering is this weird glitch in the matrix, where all the people I work with constantly tell me that I should leave where I work and find other employment. It doesn't matter if they are sober or three sheets to the wind. They always pull me aside for a 'special talk' where they tell me I have to leave and ask me where I am going to go when I do. That's that part where I stumble and stutter, avoid eye contact and mumble something about how I don't know followed by an inevitable akward silence. After that I'll be told I should think and find out. It's the question I can't answer and it's one of many questions that I don't have good answers for that stump me every time. I guess I don't get why they ask, why they feel the urge to tell me to get out all the time when they themselves have worked in the same system for years and I wonder do they see something that I don't? Do they see something in me that I don't? Or do they think that I'm stuck and I need a push. It hurts my brain, but I know, even if not one person believes me when I say it, in 3 years time, this is not the job I will have and this is not where I will be. When the cards are in place and I finally know, i'll take a leap and I will let myself leave here with no regrets and an excitement for what's to come.
Truth be told i'd rather be sitting in a beer tent at some folk festival, listening to irish music, playing the spoons and having a jig, but that doesn't pay the bills now does it :P

Things keep coming and I keep wondering, I start feeling the walls close in, things keep coming and I keep stumbling, I start feeling I'm strong enough to break (Hanson) 12/12/05
Hmmm so I haven't had any sleep again but I haven't been too annoying in my office this morning, not like last week anyway when I was driving a few people crazy. I just could not sleep last night, so we have this cocktail party at work tonight and even helping set up for it I have been lying down on all the couches cause I am dead on my feet. I'm saving all the mental work for tomorrow when hopefully I will be more switched on. Manual labour is about all I am good for today.
I spoke to my sister who is telling me stories about 27 degree water in QLD and how no one wears wetties up there, I said oh so I will look like a right idiot then eh?
I've been trying to entice my friend Amy to come watch hanson so I wanted to put my severly lacking guitar and singing skills to good use and post a clip of me singing hanson on here as incentive to come visit me. But unfortunately it didn't work out. Over the course of a week I tried to find my mic in the mouldy shed, but couldn't find it. So then I tried to use a video camera from work as a live feed into my machine, which worked at work but at home it just produced mono with a horrible feedback noise in one channel. So then finally I got a headset from work which I tried to get as near to my guitar as possible, but there was the fact that it sounded bad and ahhh my voice sounded even worse and I can't remember all the words to madeline, penny and me, or strong enough to break so I had to keep scrolling down on the computer and that made me muck up the chords. So I can't post any cause they all suck, but I did try and I didn't give up easily, who knows one day perhaps there really will be a hanson song on here, sung and performed by me :)

You’re not in love with someone else, you don’t even love yourself, still, I wish you’d ask me not to go (Madonna) 09/12/05
So I finished my book for the book competition at work. It's nothing fancy but I'm proud I actually completed something for the competition. Admin party on tonight, yummm I am getting hungry right now, luckily it's only a couple of hours away, hello good food and lemon, lime and bitters :)
*does a dorky dance to old Madonna tracks*

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself and covered with a perfect shell, such a charming, beautiful exterior, laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes (Dashboard Confessional) 07/12/05
Last night I watched the first episode of Ghost Whisperer. It was very good! It's actually based on professional ghost buster Mary Ann Winkowski, she is a consultant to the show.
I have been listening to a mix tape of Dashboard Confessional songs and I love them so much. It seems like I might get to see Ember Swift perform when I am in QLD as she will be performing at the time I am there, it just depends on tickets and how far away the venue is. I also said I would go see Sleater Kinney in feb. I guess I will see how that pans out as it is on a weeknight.

You stuttered like a kaleidoscope 'cause you knew too many words , take ecstasy with me, baby (Magnetic Fields) 03/12/05
Spiders and flies are attacking and invading. I was supposed to be having a nice earlier night the other night but my first mistake was coming home and leaving the door open. Evil flies came in and they were huge and they kinda freak me out, so with no brave knight or princess or well... anyone really to save me from the flies I opened the extremely hard to open window in the kitchen. This was so *not* a good idea. Millions of baby moths and weird insects came in and a native wasp did too and if that wasn't bad enough, when I thought the majority of flies had gone and I was going to bed I went to shut the window and a huge, huge huntsman spider came through it into the kitchen. I totally freaked and removed my stuff from that side of the kitchen. It was too big to vacumn but I was using the vacumn cleaner to scare it around so it might crawl back out the window. It didn't, it just crawled all over the kitchen cupboards and roof and meanwhile another grotesque black spider was on the window waiting to get it. It took over an hour for me to get the huntsman outside and close the window. It was bad. Yes, I know, I am a big dork :)
I booked my flight to QLD, yay!

Still when I die, I'll come back as a cicada, please don't rip off my wings or I'll have to cry out of my 3rd eye. (Laura Imbruglia) 01/12/05
So Joss Whedon loves Veronica Mars and I think I might like it a wee bit too. I saw the first ep and I remember reading about it on spoiler boards the other year. Medium is back on tonight yay!!! I love that show so much and now that House is finished for the year I need a new show to get engrossed in. When it came out I watch Serenity the Movie, the DVD will be out soon I think, it was choice, I knew it would be brilliant.
Another Christmas present down, although that one wasn't for a family member either, it's a great present, it's beverage and I want to consume it myself, yum! Still got lots of presents to buy though and time is ticking away. Lots of social events coming at work too, going away parties and christmas parties and cocktail parties and lots of work to get completed, it makes my brian hurt :)
A new Italian Gelato store has just opened and yesterday I had the biggest Gelati in the world, it was chocolate and lemon and it was so yum.

Or am I standing still? Beneath the darkened sky Or am I standing still? With the scenery flying by (Jewel) 30/11/05

Well it looks like I am going to QLD for a week. It will be very hot, but I like the hot weather even though I burn easy. This is a picture of my Christmas tree, I think I went a bit overboard, especially considering that I have no flatmates this Christmas so it will be just me :( but I really wanted a tree to put presents under. So far there is only one present because my family won't tell me what they might like as a present. Some people are easy to buy for but I really am stuck this year trying to think what I might get everyone and it's a little confusing just who I have buy for. Looks like I will be in Bendi for New Years. There really isn't that much going on. I'm looking forward to my one break; as short lived as it is. I know when it's over that it will seem like the next break is so far away that I will be going stir crazy wishing I had some more holidays, but I really don't have the option of going 48/52 with role change for the next year, I will be too busy and more holiday's means sacrificing pay. I don't really care about the money but the bills don't pay themselves and with it being just me I really shouldn't take my pay down a level just so I can relax a few days. I am sure one day I will leave my current work for a much more relaxed schedule and have all kinds of things to do with my free time that don't involve stressing about work or catching up on sleep.

Com uma força que ninguem pode parar, mais perto do ceu, mais perto do ceu (Nelly Furtado) 28/11/05

I've felt compelled to post this. It was channeled by my friend holly and I. It's all about 'Twin Flames'. One of the most famous twin flames was St Germain. We have channeled other information to do with this topic of twin flame and related ones such as soul groups and purpose but that information is more specific to people so I won't be posting it to anyone but the people involved, but felt the urge to post this information for the past few days. If I can locate any more important tf stuff I will add it to this post, or perhaps I should give it it's own section :)

Yes this is true and is quiet rare as you well know so to meet another in the earth 3D is so wonderful and special and joyous. Much knowledge known and much connection to the other, it is something very special and looked upon as such and yes also very special connection within the soul family. So You see it is wonderful and is something that you cannot fully see for all it is when you have never experienced it it can be hard to describe how this person is in connection to you and how you know so much about them and they about you and how you are so very connected to each other for those that know nothing of this kind of partnership will not understand properly what it can be and how it works and yes it is full of growth and learning and support and care and love and most view it as something romantic and that is something it can be but not always, dependant on what you have chosen to do in this incarnation together. So it is hard to say what is a twin flame and it has been described to you in many ways, but like purpose and same vibrational level and circumstances similar are all part of it and as I say it is as if 2 are 1. So why not call them 2 as 1.

What is purposeful for a twin flame being is very specific to that pair of individuals and if they are here at the same time and they have chosen to meet in the earth plane then it is for specific purpose most grand and that is something wonderful and rare and it is something special for all that is can be seen but it is hard to understand it all from the physical and so you see that twin flame also provides a catalyst for much spiritual forging onwards and upwards. It is about purpose and it is about other things too and connection that is so wondrous and can be felt without the mighty limitations that are imposed such as space and time.

Connections between twin flames are so strong and that can cause confusion between the individuals and that can cause them to feel very sad when they are separated from each other because it doesn't make worldly sense as to why that is they are feeling that they should not be separated at this time when they have very specific things to do together and so much to accomplish as a team it is sometimes hard to see that there is a separation only in the physical and that time and space do not in any way shape form change the bond that has been there since the beginning of all that is. It is not something that can be ripped apart or broken or stopped it just is! They have chosen to undertake lessons together and to work together as part of their path and so that will occur no matter what obstacles are in the way it is something you might refer to as a destined pathway with many things occurring but nothing to stop what has already been decided before incarnation has occurred.

Channeled by Holly:

Twin-flame connection is perfection. It is two halves of a whole. It is one of the most special relationships of a soul group. It is unique and powerful. These two halves are the truest complements to each other, as they are most alike in thought, and vibration, and past history/experience. Guides work together too, to join the two in circumstances surrounding them so that the connection may be realized.

Twin-flame is spiritual enlightenment perfected. All that is, in this earthly realm. It is a combination of love, of peace, of desire to perfect and align. In the beginning, all was one, and then, broke into parts/fragments. These elements connect, to form a whole. In this world, this person is part of this other person and in the universe, there are more parts which unite.

If twin flame is half your soul, then how is soul group part of your soul too?

Ah, yes, this is complex. Soul group consists of many, numerous parts--all having had a connection in vibration, purpose and past-life. All are part of a similar mission/purpose, and can relate easily to each other. They understand each other, and each other's purpose, if not from an earthly point of view, a recognition from the higher self. This is all imbedded into DNA. Different soul groups take on different missions/purposes. Twin -flame is an even closer connection--it is the closest--and, most like the other person in intent and purpose and vibration. (How far you have progressed altogether on your path). This person is most like you--most similar. And together, the two are most powerful. The most joyous and highest level of power available. And, with connection--purpose is greatly intensified--power is immense.
Do you see? It is like human twins, they are the closest in this reality, in genetic background, and looks and other similarities. And so, they understand each other the best. And twin flames are not always at the same vibrtational level, at the same time in earthly incarnations, but at some point usually do connect. And, it is sheer beauty and force, and power.

Just one smile on your face, was all it took to change my fortune, just one word from your mouth, was all I needed to be certain (Madonna) 28/11/05
I have been doofing around town with Madonna's new 'Confessions on a Dance Floor' album playing since yesterday. It's really good, apart from the 'I love New York' which is puss but apart from that I really like it.
As some of you know I have horrible retail troubles. Well the latest ones were on the weekend. I bought a stainless steel soap/shampoo and conditioner holder to replace the white one in the shower only to find it doesnt fit in there and is too short, then i bought lights for my Christmas tree only to read the directions inside say don't put near anything that might melt like a tree or tree decorations, but I put them on my tree anyway. Lastly I bought a battery operated light up Angel for my tree only to get it home and find that whilst the three spare batteries were still attached, there were no electrical components, it was completely hollow! Grrrrrrrrrr, not bad for only one trip to the shops, now you can see why i purchase everything on ebay!
Today I purchased clothes in Target and on the cash monitor they came up as tween! Arrggghhhh, how scary it that! But I figure that if Lisa Loeb can promote and wear Hello Kitty then so can I.

Beautiful girl, ugly shirt you are a fashion red alert, But I can’t resist, you've never been kissed and I've never been in love like this (RBF) 26/11/05

So this is a picture illustrating how long my hair has gotten. I am still undecided as to if I should just keep growing it or cut it off. Obviously it can't grow much longer or it would be way too long, but it's hard to part with it! I don't know how people can so easily cut off their locks :) Hmmmm what do you think all ahhhh... three? of my loyal readers (hehe, just joking, I really don't know who is looking at this site), should i cut it? It's only 1 month till Christmas and I still have not done my shopping. Instead i got sidetracked with buying jewelry for myself because there seem to be a few people at work who make it and they are always bringing them in and I get suckered into buying them because they look cool. All happy purchases but not really what I should be looking at. I am supposed to be Christmas shopping but so far I have identified about two possible presents and only bought two other presents the latter which are not actually for a family member so I need to seriously get the family christmas shopping out of the way. I also need to get a Christmas tree. I have some decorations I got given by my old neighbours for baby sitting and I bought a few new ones so I really want to get a tree to put them on. I have been looking at the Christmas lights, there is one along McIvor rd that is a big smiley face on the side of someone's house. I think it's so cool that people put all the lights up. One year Joel and Meesh and I did the Christmas light tour. We got in Meesh's car and drove around to them all. Some of them have to be seen to be believed, they go all out. I've been chatting to my sister on Skype, so I want to go and visit her after Christmas during my holidays. It will be good to be in some very sunny weather although I hope I don't get too burnt. One year we went to the beach for new years and I got so burnt that it took about 6 months for the mark on my leg where my wetsuit ended to go away. We just looked at Bridesmaids dresses earlier today, the girl in the shop wanted me to order a 6 but i want the 8 because I am scared that by the time Joel and Meesh's wedding comes I will have gone up in weight and it won't fit.

Angels watching over me, every move I make, Angels watching over me, Angels watching over me, every step I take, Angels watching over me (Amy Grant) 24/11/05
Someone at work went and saw a professional psychic and listening to her talk about it makes me miss psychic class. I am so in awe of professional psychics, especially ones that remote view things that are most likely to happen but mostly the way they have refined their skills and work with clients is inspiring. I am more of a channeller myself, I do have other abilities but they aren't as dominant as my channelling abilities. Things that have grown have been my empathic abilities and I have with some people an increased reception of thought (telepathy) but they aren't things I have learnt to control yet. It's not always a good thing because i am horrible at shielding.
I miss psychic class a lot it's so nice to hang out with people who are into the same things and have the same abilities in different measures. And to have such a wonderful teacher was such a blessing. I hang out on prophecies where they are always helpful and it's nice to know that when you have past life troubles they aren't going to laugh in your face or tell you that you are making things up and I channel with someone online, but I still miss the energy of going to psychic class and helping each other out face to face and developing your skills in a group environment.
I got my eyelashes tinted the other day and it absolutely canned. There was dye in my eye and it was stinging like crazy! But they look good. I spoke to my sister in Brissie and I hope to go visit her in the holidays, probably after Christmas. Hopefully some friends will wanna come visit during the holidays as it will be nice and hot weather so good for doing stuff and I don't want to sit around dead bored when I am on my break.

Hey, little alternative girl don't you wanna be my friend? you know i'm singin' all my songs to you it's all right if you don't understand (RBF) 21/11/2005
I tested skype last night on dialup, it was funny; one, cause the emoticons crack me up and two, cause goodbye girl and I kept talking over each other because of the lag.
My sister has moved to Melbourne, good luck with your new job little genny.
It's heatin' up here, I love the hot weather, unfortunately i have to feed the poor smelly dog of my sisters until my dad returns. I got all my Reel Big Fish cds back from my ex neighbour :) They are choice and I love listening to some ska as the weather heats up and the holidays draw nearer.

Your skin smells lovely like sandalwood, your hair falls soft like animals, and nothing else matters to me (Lisa Loeb) 13/11/2005
Well I am covered in sandalwood so I don't get bitten by the mossies, but it's too late they already got me when I was watering my dads garden. I spent forever looking for something in my shed to no avail it's annoying and I might have to buy another one. I'm back inside now nursing my itchy hands which are covered in bites I guess sandalwood doesn't do a fantastic job of repelling insects. It's really sunny, I like this weather and you can go outside at night too as it's not to cold but as mentioned you will pay for it if you don't have insect repellant. I am tempted to get some solar lights cause the garden is so nice :) But I have to think of christmas presents first and stop getting outbid on katies birthday present on ebay.
Hmm looks like I have two lisa loeb quotes in a row, thats very uncool but I have always loved lisa and her music, so she deserves every kudo she gets.

When all the stars were falling I reached up like you said, all the stars were falling and one hit me in the head (Lisa Loeb) 09/11/2005
Hmm well I want to trial my website. This new version isn't completely finished, but I couldn't wait any longer. I needed something at my domain so I have decided to go live with my site in it's current state. It's hectic at work and I am longing for my holidays. I had a billion things to write but none are forth coming at this present moment.

You are the Fool card. The Fool fearlessly begins the journey into the unknown. To do this, he does not regard the world he knows as firm and fixed. He has a seemingly reckless disregard for obstacles. In the Ryder-Waite deck, he is seen stepping off a cliff with his gaze on the sky, and a rainbow is there to catch him. In order to explore and expand, one must disregard convention and conformity. Those in the throes of convention look at the unconventional, non-conformist personality and think What a fool. They lack the point of view to understand The Fool's actions. But The Fool has roots in tradition as one who is closest to the spirit world. In many tribal cultures, those born withstrange and unusual character traits were held in awe. Shamans were people who could see visions and go on journeys that we now label hallucinations and schizophrenia. Those with physical differences had experience and knowledge that the average person could not understand. The Fool is God. The number of the card is zero, which when drawn is a perfect circle. This circle represents both emptiness and infinity. The Fool is not shackled by mountains and valleys or by his physical body. He does not accept the appearance of cliff and air as being distinct or real. Image from: Mary DeLave http://www.marydelave.com/ Which Tarot Card Are You? brought to you by Quizilla

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